It has been a year, y’all, in every sense of the phrase. Hubs and I hit day 365 of pandemic life today. He’s the best quarantine partner I could ask for—but still, 365 days!
Our last night out before the shutdown was Tuesday March, 10th, dart night at AmVets—an organization for veterans. Think cozy, casual dive bar, lots of fun and camaraderie, noise and laughter. For many of these folks, AmVets was their main social outlet. That night the TVs, usually tuned to sports and drowned out by music, were all tuned to news broadcasts. Instead of high-fives and hugs after each good shot, we bumped elbows or hips. The laughter that night was more nervous than hearty, and we all kept sneaking glimpses at the news.
The only time I’ve ever hit 3 bullseyes–at home, during the pandemic!
The next night, our group was to meet at the VFW for more darts and a potluck supper. Nervous about sharing food, we stayed home. I’m sorry we didn’t grab that last chance to be together. In my Bangers Tavern Romance Series, written during the pandemic, I’ve tried to recapture the fun and fellowship I’ve missed so much.
One year into this catastrophe, I’m not the same person, and it’ll take years to fully comprehend the changes. I’m heavier, of course. Daily walks can’t replace all the moving around I did when the world was open. Cooking and sharing good food with Hubs comforts me, and I’m not going to beat myself up over that. (Also, I refuse to be controlled by the bikini industrial complex, but that’s a separate issue.) A few months back, I finally gave up on Audrey II, my sourdough starter. Hubs and I just don’t eat that much bread—or sourdough crackers, muffins, cake, pancakes, scones…
Audrey II, my sourdough starter. She grew like a monster in my fridge but never did make the bread rise much.
In a year, I’ve read a library’s worth of books, mostly romance, and recall very few of them. In fact, my poor brain is far more distractible now, lured by the siren song of social media and news. I’ll just check for a moment…
My sleep patterns are a mess too. I wake in the wee hours, read myself back to sleep, then nod off mid-afternoon. Maybe that was my true pattern all along? Or is it just stress wearing me out and keeping me up?
One of Tacoma’s many architectural beauties
From March through October, Hubs and I kept our spirits up-ish with daily walks all over Tacoma. Photographing beautiful houses, gardens, and views gave me something to post about on social media, other than “Buy my book, pretty please.” Then the weather turned, Covid cases rose, and the few chances we had for outdoor meetups withered away to nothing but Zoom. And Zoom fatigue.
I’ve been so fortunate in the Quarantimes that it’s hard to admit the toll boredom and stress have taken on my psyche. Grief too, even though I haven’t lost anyone to Covid-19. We’re all mourning the Before Times and worried we may never get that back.
Recently, Hubs had a medical emergency (not Covid-19, thank God), and I had to drive him to the hospital—just a fifteen-minute drive. At night. Over the bridge. In the rain. Now, I lived in Germany for many years, y’all. Land of the Autobahn. I’m a confident driver—or I was, before spending nearly a year in my office chair. Alarming to realize how nervous I was navigating that short trip. A mere 60 m.p.h. felt terrifyingly fast and dangerous.
The prospect of resuming something like a normal life feels at once exhilarating and terrifying. What if I don’t remember how to people? What if it’s all ripped away again?
One weird plus: we’re moving to Las Vegas later this year to be closer to Hubs’ son, his darling wife, and promised grandchildren. This past pandemic winter has eased the process of emotionally separating from Tacoma. I love this town and will miss it dearly, but never has a fresh start seemed more appealing.
How about you? I’d love to hear your thoughts as we all hit the one-year mark. How have you changed? Have you found any gold nuggets while slogging through the Swamp of Despond?
Can you believe it’s a year 😟 I was furloughed from March to May. Since retuning to work in a medical office so much has happened and changed. I had hopes for 2021. Silly me. Happy Covid New Year to me. I brought in the new year with it. At least I now have antibodies. Here’s to 2022.
Donna, feel better!!!
Thanks, Donna, for all you do for all of us!
Like you, I’m not the same person I was before the pandemic. I seem to travel from Incredible highs to depths of despair, to which I was a stranger before. The hardest thing about the pandemic, for me, was that my first grandchild was born. I have been able to see her very little, even though she lives a mere twenty-five miles away, and she’s never seen Granny’s whole face (without a mask.) I ask myself what it will take, to return me to the woman I was. I don’t think it’s going to happen. But–I have written some great books!
I’m so grateful I was able to write during this shitstorm. Many good writers just couldn’t. And I’ve heard from so many people who found themselves unable to enjoy reading, too.
Great post. So much stuff to process in these quarantimes. And so much more of me in general. HURRY Spring.
Yeah, processing all these changes will take lots of time, I bet.
There’s been change for a lot of people. I know, after everything calms down, we will see the good in these changes. I hope you like Las Vegas!
Thanks, Kara!
Sounds like you made the most of your shutdown. Hope your move goes smoothly!
Thanks, Alicia! I’m not looking forward to the process, but I am looking forward to the sunshine and new house.
Some remarkable insight and reflection in your post. Your writing encourages me to do some more intensive reflection on my own. Like you, I tried to make the best of this difficult year, searching for any bright spots in the dark clouds, but found few.
In Pennsylvania, we were lucky to have a nice big back yard with a huge patio that allowed us to social distance, so we were interactive with neighbors and friends until snow flew in November. I had two surgeries in the fall, so I took the time to recover and write or edit. Saddest part of the pandemic was when our two sons and wives presented us with two new grandsons that we couldn’t travel to see. We’re going to S.C. to see the first little guy this weekend.
I thought I was an introvert (Myers/Briggs) but enough is enough! Mostly the weather has allowed us to eat out at places with outside seating. However our monthly get togethers with family(cousins) for a meal and cards has gone away and I think we both feel that the most.
We followed the quarantine strictly for about 3 weeks. And then we took pity on my daughter, who, with a 2 year old and a six month old, was going bonkers. Since the science was showing that little kids weren’t getting the virus, we decided to accept the fact that sooner or later we would probably get Covid and we resumed babysitting and visiting close family. We’re still being careful, and so far we’ve avoided infection and made it through our first shot of Moderna. After that second shot, we’re hitting the road again.
Interesting to see your story. It didn’t change for me all that much, being housebound anyway. But it did make it hard in the early days of the pandemic to try to find goods online. That’s the only way I have to shop.