Ah, February, a month devoted to love, revelry (Mardi Gras), and dead presidents.
You can’t turn around this month without bumping into some post or article about romance fiction. Whether paean or hot take, in February it seems every booklover (or disgruntled man) has an opinion about my favorite genre. And I don’t have to tell you that this year, those disgruntled men are out in force!
(Trigger warning: Sadira’s feeling feisty this Valentine’s Day.)
I won’t bore you with the figures about how romance outsells all other popular fiction genres because A: you’ve heard it before, and B: if you’re here, you have at least some fondness for kissing books.
But a common question we authors get is “Why do you write the genre you write?”
Now, please don’t construe this as me turning up my nose at any other fiction genre. Reading is wonderful, and if you adore military sci-fi, literary fiction, Westerns, spy thrillers, post-apocalyptic tales, high fantasy, YA adventure, or whatever, good on you. I’m sure you’ll find lots of juicy books to enjoy.
The thing is, I’ve never heard or read so-called experts or “thought leaders” opine about why those fiction genres should be discouraged or scorned.
But I sure have read and heard those folks scorning romance, claiming it’s frivolous, unserious, formulaic (like the above genres are not?!), and gives women readers “unrealistic expectations.”
Huh. I wonder what expectations they’re referring to? Should we not expect to be loved? Respected? Seen as complex people? Should we not expect sex to be about mutual pleasure? Should we not expect agency in our lives? Personal growth? Supportive friends?
Because that’s what I’ve found in every romance I’ve ever read—and in the best real-life love stories I’ve encountered right here on planet earth. Not to mention the LGBT couples I’ve met, whose love stories are also richly represented in romance fiction.
And for those who declare romance fans to be lonely, sexually frustrated women, eff off. I have a wonderful partner, a complex, real-life dude who treats me well and shares frisky fun times, even at our advanced age. And he’s not the tiniest bit threatened by my reading or writing romance books. Why would he be? If I get a little hot and bothered, he reaps the benefits.
But enough about why the critics dislike romance. (*cough* misogyny) Why do I like it?
After a career of teaching “great” books about war and pestilence and tragedy and death, I’m done, done, done with literary gloom. When I open a book, I’m not looking for a cathartic sob-fest, nor a fog of ennui, nor a shiver of impending doom. Life hands me plenty of sorrow, weariness and fear—I want to offer my readers fun, hope, joy. And I want to bathe in those same bright feelings as I build my fictional worlds.
In a good romance story—and there are so many really good ones available today, in every flavor imaginable—the lovers have to fight for their HEA. They struggle, often through terrible torment, to reach a place of growth and healing. And I can endure and even enjoy the struggle because of the genre’s promise: everything will turn out all right in the end. A romance story always delivers hard-earned joy.
Because y’all, joy is an act of defiance, of rebellion. Especially now, when the powers that be want to keep us so anxious and afraid that we’ll simply give up defending our rights, our principles, our very lives.
I’ll end with a quote from Dan Savage, American author and relationship expert:
Anyone who tells you that making time for joy—however you define it—is a distraction or a betrayal [from the news cycle and civic engagement] has no idea what they’re talking about. During the darkest days of the AIDS Crisis, we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon, and we danced all night. The dance kept us in the fight because it was the dance we were fighting for. It didn’t look like we were going to win then and we did. It doesn’t feel like we’re going to win now but we could. Keep fighting, keep dancing.
Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all, and please, find a way to celebrate love and joy.
P.S. The books pictured above feature Bangers Tavern’s legendary Anti-Valentine’s Day bash. Available individually in ebook or paperback from your favorite online bookseller, or get the complete series ebook bundle for the price of two individual books!
Take me to Bangers Tavern!